Since not enough votes were cast to determine the manner of my suicide, my kind readers will simply have to tolerate more banter, more mockery and more truth. On that note, if you find yourself alluded to in these pages, or posts, or whatever, the most likely explanation for your inclusion is that you are an idiot and deserve to be publicly berated.
I would make an exception on this point, off the top of my head, for a certain Mr. Barack Obama, whose inclusion in this blog is purely a matter of comical photographic incidence. The same would go for whoever the Chief Justice that took his oath is, Michelle Obama, and Queen Elizabeth II. Prince Phillip can go fuck himself,after all, he is nothing but a Greek racialist*.
*A racialist (yeah, that's limey for racist) who, incidentally, 60-something years ago, was accidentally introduced to Her Majesty the Queen by the Stig.
PS -Woody Guthrie, Leonard Cohen, Peter O'Toole, J. Robert Oppenheimer and Mahmoud from Karachi are cool too.
1 comments:
After a long and thorough soul search, I’ve finally decided to come in contact with you. ‘Tis me, the man you irreparably corrupted into a pulp of vice; a man so ugly inside that only his stunning good looks get him through the day. The one who once equivocally asked you for advice; and you made a bundle of things; didn’t you? That is to say the absolute least.
Now I come back, filthy as ever. After having fought my demons for so long, I have relinquished all efforts against my natural sense, and just decided to go with the flow. The flow your wave of irremediable havoc created in my life. I’ve travelled the world. I ate monkey brains, can you believe it? You’re right to think that didn’t help.
You wouldn’t believe the endless conversations I’ve had with myself. The drinking, the women; I thank you for that. And I guess that’s really what I’m here to do after all. I can’t remember what my point was, so let’s just make it this.
It’s true, I’m a mess. But a happy mess. In every corner I see a reflection of my alter ego, who never came, because you crushed him somehow. An uptight, conservative moron who shuns everything he’s never done; especially the things he’s afraid to try. Maybe the truth you’ve unveiled isn’t the happiest of privileges, but I consider it a privilege nonetheless, because I sure am glad your crazy behavior pointed me in the opposite direction.
I’m fine by the way. I mean it’s been a few years Boogey. You could have called.
Anyway; thank you for the bitches, the parties, the up(per)s and down(er)s: but especially for the uppers and the bitches; and the foresight to understand what the House of Pain is all about.
Please don’t try to contact me, because I don’t want anything else to do with you. I’ve seen what you do, and will be forever permanently afraid.
Safe for this blog. I’ll be in touch.
I’m glad you’re not dead. Fuck them haters.
Respect,
Rico Al-hashish
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